Some oldies, but goodies. (Pt. 1)

As I sit here bored in the library at my school, I decided to look up old music videos on YouTube from old bands that I thought were cool when I was growing up. Some had few hits, some had TV shows, some had many hits, some others only were one hit wonders. They were still all great in my opinion in the 90's when I was growing up. Some of these are old but not as old as the 90's, but they can be classics.

My first pick: B*Witched "C'est La Vie"

B*Witched "C'est La Vie"

Now when I was younger I never thought anything of the lyrics but now listening to it today, I realized that some of the lyrics have a hidden meaning. I don't even remember how many times I tried doing the dance moves that the quartet does in the video. 

2. S Club 7 and their hit "Reach"

S Club 7 "Reach"

I chose "Reach" because it is an upbeat, inspirational song that helped S Club 7 continue their success. I found this song catchy and easy to dance to. Possibly a song to dance around your room in your pjs singing into your hairbrush while you're supposed to be getting ready for school in the morning. I still find myself dancing and singing along. And yes, I have no trouble remembering the lyrics! Haha!

3. S Club 7 - "Never Had a Dream Come True"
Never Had a Dream Come True

Not trying to repeat artists here, but I had to slow things down with Never Had a Dream Come True by S Club 7. This video is put together with the original music video, and some clips from when S Club 7 performed for the TRL audience. I still wonder if some of the members were gay, Jon looks it to me and so does Jo. Jon gives me the gay vibe and Jo sends out the butch lesbian vibes sometimes. My favorite member to this day is Hannah.

4. 98 Degrees - I Do (Cherish You)

I Do (Cherish You)

Cute boys that can sing are every girls' dream. The blue eyes and pretty smiles come out in this video as the boys from 98 Degrees sing their hearts out to the girls. I'm pretty sure that every girl hearing this song is hoping the boys were singing about them, me included.

5. Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul

Beautiful Soul

I know I fell in love with Jesse McCartney in this video. I also loved him on the television show Summerland as the cutie Bradin. He came out with some other hits from this album but none of them were as strong as "Beautiful Soul". He came back a couple years later with a couple more hits.

6. Dream Street - It Happens Everytime

It Happens Everytime

"It Happens Everytime" was the one hit from the one-hit wonders of Dream Street. Dream Street just happened to launch Jesse McCartney's career. The song is catchy and the cute young boys are a tween catcher. It makes me wonder though, how old are they when they were together, and how do they know about the feelings they're singing about? I think they might be a little young to know about those feelings, but they are going through puberty so who knows? Ha!

 - This is just the first post about oldies but goodies. Stay tuned for my next picks. -

In Memory of Russell Barlow, my Grandfather

Ever since I was young

I've been having fun.

At your house for fun

you told me to play

on the double yellow line.

And people told me "Don't whine!"

when I refused to walk the line.

You were a tough man

but a loving man.

Full of jokes and sarcasm

and Chianti.

But you never stopped loving me.

You lived a good life,

married a wonderful woman

and nine kids came along

to make you sing happy songs.

In the later years

there were no fears

when all those grandkids

came into the picture.

You loved us always.

You didn't say it often

but we still knew

by your smile

when you joked with us.

At times you were the strong, silent type.

But not afraid to speak your mind.

Kind of like Mr. T from the A-Team.

I still watch it sometimes.

I still remember.

I hope you do too.

Now that you're gone,

your memory still lives on

inside us all.

I speak for all of us when I say,

Grandpa we love you.

Grandpa we miss you.

Watch over us

and we'll see you soon.

RIP Russell Barlow <3

A husband to one,

A father to some,

A grandfather to many.

Amateur Writing

Hey everyone,

I have been reading a book of a bunch of short stories about 'coming out'. I got inspired to write one myself. I have been working on it for a couple of days. I finally finished it yesterday. I can't decide whether to post it up on here or Facebook. If I edit it or type it up and get the courage to post it, I will definitely post it on here. We will see. =\

...The Leaping Lizard. 

Beautiful Pt. 2

(cont'd)

So the last time I wrote, in Beautiful Pt. 1, I told you the story of how Cristina and I met. I left off on the week of Valentine's Day. I will pick up where I left off...

... The week before Valentine's Day, Cristina had been asking me if I wanted to be her Valentine. I kept saying no, that it was just easier to stay "single" or without a Valentine, whatever you wanna call it. She never knew what I had in mind until a couple days later.

I compromised with Cristina to go out on a double date with Kristin and Matt (who just turns out to be my ex-boyfriend, but that doesn't really matter). We went to the UC Mens Hockey game. So that Friday afternoon, the day before Valentine's Day might I add, I went straight home after class instead of staying on campus to hang out. My excuse was that I had to do a couple chores before going out that night. I really did have to vacuum, though! But, after I finished vacuuming, I ran to Price Chopper and went to their floral section. I picked out a single hot pink rose, because that's Cristina's favorite color, and had the worker wrap it. When I got back home, I had to shower and get ready for the game, along with writing a note to say --> "Will you be my valentine?" Of course, the classic line, but can you really go wrong with it? I didn't think so. It turned out that I didn't like how the worker wrapped the flower, so I took personal wrapping paper and wrapped the rose myself. I did a hell of a job.

Now, Kristin knew all about what I was doing. While I was at Price Chopper I called her to get her advice on what flower to pick out and she said it was a friend from home who wanted to talk to her in private. So when it came time to meet up with Kristin and Cristina to drive to the hockey game, I placed the flower and note on the front seat of my car, where Cristina was going to end up sitting when I picked them up, and left to go meet them.

When I pulled up to the front of the college, Cristina and Kristin started walking toward my car. Kristin headed to the back seat and Cristina, as I knew, came toward the front seat. She didn't even notice the rose and note on the front seat until she opened the door and was about to sit down. When she saw, she was completely caught off guard and she started to cry. I would say it was a good cry, because that was what she wanted all along but she wasn't expecting a lot after I told her I didn't want a valentine.

After Cristina calmed down a little, she got in the car and we drove off to the hockey game to meet Matt at the Utica Auditorium. We had a great night at the game, we even held hands and put our arms around each other throughout the night. Needless to say, it was a perfect night.

Well, that was our first date. We did go out the next night, bowling with a couple people as our Valentine's Day "date". But I think the hockey game was our Valentine's Day date, officially, or at least it felt more like it. That's the beginning of our story. We are still together, after 1 year and 4 months, and still counting.

...The Leaping Lizard.

Local Radio Contest

A local radio station called KISS FM is holding a contest called the Cutest Mommy-to-Be. You had the chance to upload a picture and then you were allowed to receive votes for the chance to win a pretty amazing prize package.

The prizes you can win are:

• a $250 gift certificate to Whims-n-Doodles
• a $100 gift certificate to A Person Touch Beauty Spa
• a $50 gift certificate to The Olde Wicker Mill
• a $100 gift certificate to The Goldmine Jewelers

I know a woman who is in the running to win the prize package; she is in first place. It is between her and one other girl, the other contestants are not even close to winning. This woman I know is Angela Meiss, maiden name Reina. I know her because she was my high school basketball coach, and she teaches in the same school as my mom. She is pregnant with her first baby, and this prize package will help her and her husband out a lot. They are going to be learning a lot in the next couple of months and the extra money/gift certificates will help them out a lot! She is a really nice and sweet person who deserves to win. She is very determined and is really good at inspiring people to strive to be their best. I can't talk enough good about Angela, or as I call her, Reinz, that can even come close to the true person she is. So please if you have a kind section in your heart, please click on this link below and go vote for her to win.


Vote for Angela (Reina) Meiss!


I have been voting every day and the voting ends tomorrow night and the winner (hopefully Angela!) will be announced over the radio around 4 o'clock in the afternoon (EST). So please go vote, and tell all your friends and family to go vote!


...The Limping Lizard.

Beautiful Pt. 1

So there's this girl. Her name is Cristina. She's pretty special to me. I feel like I've known her for a very long time, longer than I actually have. I hope all of you have time to read this because I like to tell this story. It can be long depending on the version. I like to remember detail so most likely this will be the long version.

It was an evening in February of the year 2009. I went to dinner on the campus of Utica College with my friend (at the time) Kristin and there was this girl we were having dinner with, along with a group of people. This girl, after a couple of minutes, got up and left for her night class. I never thought anything of it until....

... this girl added me as a friend on Facebook. I never connected the two together that this Facebook girl was the same girl from dinner. This girl kept IMing me on Facebook and kept inviting me places or inviting me to hang out on campus. I would always decline because I didn't really know her very well and at the time I thought she was kind of annoying. When I would be hanging out with Kristin, this girl would come around and end up hanging out with us. I didn't really mind it because I realized that she was a cool person. Naturally, we started flirting and hanging out....even though I sort of liked this other girl at the time.

(If you haven't caught on by now, "this girl" is Cristina.)

I was sort of talking to another girl at the time of talking to Cristina, but I soon realized that it wasn't going anywhere. I got to thinking that it was easier with Cristina than it was with this other girl so I gave up on that and started to focus on forming whatever it was with Cristina. When me and Cristina talked, it was for hours. We wouldn't even have to try to talk about something, we would just talk about anything. As Valentine's Day approached, Cristina kept asking about making plans or being each other's valentine. I told her that I didn't want to have a valentine this year.

Little did she know, I had a plan in the back of my mind.


*Stay tuned for the next part of the story.*

...The Limping Lizard.

Mad Attitudes

Since college, I have never really been an angry person or have had a mad attitude. Every time I got angry I usually just let it go. Since I have been in college, I have encountered a new group of people, expected of a college student. What I wasn't expecting was that I'd become more angry than I was 2 and a half years ago. After graduating people did some shady shit and decided not to be my friend anymore, whether it was to leave high school people behind, or because they found a reason not to like me anymore. Yes, I was upset, but in some situations I thought I didn't deserve the treatment I was receiving from them. I then confronted the people who made me angry to try and get some answers. Some people were reluctant and are still holding grudges. Others got angry because I was angry and learned to confront people and stand up for myself. Therefore, people told me I have changed for the worse. I guess it's because I have learned not to be a pushover? Yeah that makes sense.

I also have encountered people who think my girlfriend and I are one person. We automatically get criticized by the others friends just because we're dating. This is uncalled for because it hurts us both. This should not be happening. We do not control one another; we make our own decisions and actions. I don't know why people ask me shit on my Formspring that is about their "dislike" of her. I don't like when people attack me to get to her. We are individuals. I'm not going to take anyone's bullshit when it comes to attacking me or my girlfriend.

That brings me to another issue of anger. My girlfriend has had conflicts with some people and I try to be the more level-headed or stronger (in some cases where it makes her weak) one. But sometimes I just can't help myself of getting angry to the point where I just want to fight with someone either verbally or physically. Lately, things have happened where she has had to move because of immaturity of her roommates. She just was not compatible with them and they ended up where they would party all the time and treat my girlfriend with bitchy attitudes and treated her things around the house with disrespect. If any of you know me, I am incredibly loyal. I stand up for my friends and for my family members. When someone insults them or disrespects them in any way, I'm likely to stand up for them or bitch someone out for what they did.

Sometimes I just think it would feel so much better just to lash out and punch the people that piss you off. I know there are a couple people I have come in contact with lately that I would just love to punch and tell them to shut the f**k up and leave my girlfriend and I alone. Like stay in your own business and don't disrespect me or her. Some people call us immature but comparing me to these people, there is no way that I am more immature than them. Neither is my girlfriend, which I think is funny. I don't know how someone could call a person who is older than them more immature when clearly the older person drinks more responsibly, does their school work more often and better, and takes it upon themselves to get shit done that needs to be done right away. These people that are so "mature" don't even do half of that, if anything. I just want to laugh in their face, push them out of the way and get on with my life. I wish there weren't laws like assault or harassment sometimes just so I wouldn't get in trouble for beating the piss out of people because I would totally do it on some occasions.

I don't like that I feel this way toward some people but I guess that's life, right? Oh well.

...The Limping Lizard.

hello there.. this is just a test run to see if the links work.

Utica College

NCAA: Grade A+ or F?

March Madness is upon us, and if you are a college basketball fan, this is your time to shine. I'm sure if you are a hardcore fan or a heavy follower, you have already filled out your NCAA brackets for the 2010 tournament. Half of the first round is finishing up with the last few games playing right now (11 p.m. EST).

I did some research before filling out my version of the bracket. I looked up every team's record going into the NCAA tournament. I even looked at some of their past games to see how they would match up against their opponents. After I had written down the records, I looked them over and began to fill out the bracket.

Being from Utica and CNY, I have to support Syracuse University in the tournament! Plus, they haven't been doing too bad in their season. I wouldn't put it past them to go all the way to the Final Four and possibly take the whole title. Of course, I have Villanova doing the same thing. So we will see. But don't doubt me, I am definitely rooting for the Orange.

I follow the White House on Twitter, and saw that President Obama had made his picks and posted a picture up on his blog. I compared mine with his, and, I may be a dork by saying this but, it's kind of cool that the President and I have almost the same picks. But we've both gotten some wrong so far. If you want to see what Pres. Obama has for picks, the link is down below.

Some of my picks have turned out right, and I have gotten 3 picks wrong so far. The games playing right now seem to be working out in my favor (knock on wood...and yes, I did knock on wood).

So hardcore college basketball fans, stay tuned in to your local television stations and the NCAA website to keep track of the updated list of winners and losers, teams that have advanced and teams whose seasons have ended with the NCAA tournament. 

After the tournament is all over, with the winner finalized, make sure you have your original bracket beside you. Compare it to the NCAA's final posting of the complete bracket and grade yourself on how your predictions turned out. Will you get an A+ or an F? Or anywhere in between?
 
Important Links:
Pres. Obama's brackets
NCAA bracket
Follow the White House on Twitter

My Picks for the 2010 NCAA March Madness Tournament

 
...The Limping Lizard.

Spring your Form on Me

For those of you who haven't heard of formspring.me, it is a site where you create a profile and people can ask you questions, anonymous or otherwise. This seems to be the new fad and one day I decided to try it out. For a little while I didn't get any questions even though I advertised on my Facebook a little bit. Well, I advertised tonight and got a couple good questions. Although, one question I received was a little rude and false information. With "answer anonymously" being an option, rude questions are to be expected. Even so, this question got on my nerves because this person asked about something I supposedly did, like commenting on 'everything' on Facebook, when I don't comment on everything. This person sounded rude and annoyed, so my answer to them was I have the right to due to Freedom of Speech and that if they didn't like it, oh well. I believe this is an acceptable answer considering the circumstances. I'm just saying, I like being asked questions this way about myself so people get to know me better just in case they are intimidated to ask face-to-face. It relieves a little pressure off that person. 


Here is the link to my formspring in case this is your situation and you want to get to know me a little better by asking me a question you've always wondered about me. http://www.formspring.me/lizzzzzardd

...The Limping Lizard.

Study, Study, Study...

Midterms mean the mid point in the semester... I can't believe it's here already. I don't think I've ever had this many tests to study for all at once either. This semester I have 4 tests within three days. Today is Tuesday. I have one tomorrow in Sociology, two Thursday in History and Interpersonal Communication, and one Friday in Evolution. Although the one Friday is just another test and isn't technically a midterm, it still sucks because it's just another thing I have to study for. And there's only one problem...

... I hate studying. Every time I study I end up doing other things like texting, or Facebook, or watching tv. This time I was studying for Sociology and ended up texting a friend in my class. We talked about the midterm maybe for like a minute then got talking about other things. I think the reason why I get so distracted when I study is that I really despise studying. I rarely know how to study the right way, but you think being a sophomore in college you would know how, but I don't. I never had to study in high school and I'd still get good grades. College was like a brick wall that I ran into really, really hard. And I'm still recovering from the trauma of hitting so hard and not knowing what to do, essentially not knowing how to study because I never really had to before. I try studying but I always seem to rewrite my notes. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't; it really depends on the material that is being covered.

Whoever thought of tests was a nut job and should be shot, haha. But to say the least, midterms are not fun. I wish I wasn't getting hammered with tests around this time. I think everyone who goes to UC has the "spring break fever" because it is the week before spring break and we just want to enjoy the nice weather that we've been having. I just don't want to take these tests and I want to fast forward to Saturday morning so I don't have to worry about the tests and I can take some time to relax. Sounds good to me.

But for now, it's study, study, study for me.

CRAP.

...The Limping Lizard.

Every second counts

So I'm sitting in the library at school and I'm listening to Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying" on my iPod. I took the liberty to look up the lyrics as the song plays. Listening to the song and following along with the lyrics, he makes good points throughout the song. Here are the lyrics so you can know what I'm talking about if you haven't already heard the song:

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say "I love you" enough
'Till it's too late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done?

Yeah... we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We've only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye?
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution
There'll be no one on the line

Yeah... we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We've only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying [x2]

We've only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing 'til it's gone
You never see a crash 'til it's head on
All those people right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing 'til it's gone

Yeah... we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We've only got
86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

I don't think some people say the words "I Love You" enough to the people we care about most. When a couple family members and people in the community have died over the years, I started realizing that you never know who you're going to lose at any moment, and that you have to tell people how you truly feel about them. Tell family and friends you love them because you never know when they'll leave your life. I started saying "I love you" to the people that mean the most to me very often. I think they deserve to know that someone cares for them. I'm going to keep telling people I love them as much as I can because I don't want to regret not telling them if anything were to happen to them.

If your life flashed before you, what would you think about that you haven't done in your life? That's a good question that people might not be able to answer right away without thinking about it first, I being one of them. I'm going to make it a point to start a so-called "Bucket List" and write down everything I want to do before I die, realistically of course. I want to do so many things so writing them down should help.

If I were ever on a plane that happened to crash, or fall from the skies, I don't think I could call just one person. There are two very important people in my life that I would have to call, instead of just one. Those two people are my mother and my girlfriend. Thinking about it, I don't think I can choose which one to call if I were in that situation. I pray to God that I am never in that situation, but sadly, people have been. I think I would have to call my girlfriend first to tell her goodbye and that I loved her. I wouldn't call my mom first because I believe she knows that I do, and always will, love her and I think my mom could handle not talking to me before I passed better than my girlfriend. Of course, I would love to have enough time to call both my girlfriend and my mother but you never know.

 Just don't regret anything in your life and say "I love you" to the people that mean the most to you. Remember to smile and live life to its fullest because I was reminded not too long ago that people get taken from us way too soon and you will never know if it is your time or not so live life to its fullest and remember that 'every second counts.'

...The Limping Lizard.

It's Time to Play 'til the Whistle Blows

One of my favorite scenes from a movie is the scene in We Are Marshall where it's "game day" and the little kid runs outside with Jack following, and they see everybody walking down to the football field. Jack asks what day it is, the kid answers "game day." This is repeated once and then Jack says "it's time to play 'til the whistle blows" and then the little kid whistles. For one, this is one of the cutest things I have ever seen and two, this scene has been in my mind a lot as spring sports are starting up at UC and winter sports are going into playoffs. Seeing all the teams and players get ready for their games and for it to be "game day" for them again, I get a little jealous.

I played basketball and softball for 7-12 grades and for those 6 years of high school, from November until May, I frequently had those so called "game days." I thoroughly miss the games days from high school and the bonds the teams had during the season. My senior year I really wanted to look into playing in college and went as far as getting an old game tape from basketball and had been emailing back and forth. I guess i chickened out and never sent my tape to the basketball coach. There is always that "what if..." moment with that. I also thought about being a walk on player but then I never found out when try-outs were for either basketball or softball. Cristina, my girlfriend, is always telling me that I should try out next year but I think I've been out of the game for so long I don't think I could play after taking a two year break.

This "game day" thing reminds me of last summer when I played in a summer slow-pitch softball league up in Rome with my cousin Julie. I met a lot of cool people through playing this and I also learned that the basketball coach from UC plays in the same league, which I thought was funny. As it gets closer to May and June, I can't help but to think of last summer and what the future brings for this upcoming summer. I know I'm going to be back playing slow-pitch again this year and I can't wait for it to be my time to say that it's game day. Not only do I love getting dressed in the slight uniform that we do have, but I also love hanging out with Julie every week and having fun playing softball.

I wish I could find a basketball league me and Julie could play in but I'm not having luck.

All I want is to have summer come so I can just wear a wife beater and shorts and be warm. All I want is to have my game days back and play softball. Needless to say, I'm excited for this upcoming summer. =]

...The Limping Lizard.

Heavy Hearts

This morning I received a text message from one of my friends. It said that a sister of one of our good friends had passed away last night in a snowmobiling accident. She had fell into the water while snowmobiling on Third Lake. I called my friend who texted me and asked if she was serious. I realize now that asking that question was stupid but it's an immediate reaction when you hear news like that. It's shocking to hear that someone you've known since you were little isn't with us anymore. Granted, I was never close to her but I am close with her sister. I thought about her, Ashley, my friend. I thought about how much she is hurting and how much her family is hurting. I just wanted to go to her house and hug her and let her cry on my shoulder, like she's let me do for less extreme and less taxing reasons. But I knew, that in this time, so close to the fatal incident, that they would want to be with their family. I know my time will come to help support and grieve with Ashley when she needs me.

This time has made me realize how important family is. You never know when your time is up, this incident proves it. Nikki's last status update on Facebook was that she was so glad it was Friday and that she was ready for the weekend. This makes me think that one day the weekend is ready for us. You will never know what you encounter or who you will encounter in a mere matter of minutes or hours. We are unfortunate to have experienced this loss in minutes. Nikki was an amazing artist and athlete and was a beautiful girl. Although, there were some moments that people weren't too fond of Nikki, she was still someone's family member or friend. She was still cared about by many and known for her track records at Oriskany High School. Coming from a small town like Oriskany, news of her death traveled quickly and has touched so many people. There are many heavy hearts and grieving people in the world today.

Having this happen makes me think how much my family and friends mean to me. I don't know what I would do without my family members, they have been such a support system through everything imaginable in my life. And if I were to lose one of my friends, I'd be a wreck. I would think about all the times we disagreed or had fun, laughed and cried. I just wanted to say that I love all my family and friends. If we've had a rough spot in our friendship or familyship, I hope that some day we can move passed it, if we haven't already. Mom, I love you. Gramma and Grampa, I love you. Grandma, I love you. To all my aunts, uncles and cousins, I love you. To all my friends, whether in the past or in the present, I love you. To my girlfriend Cristina, I know you know this already but I cannot say it enough to show how much I really care for you, I love you.

...The Limping Lizard.

Why?

So I was sitting in my Evolution class today and I got to thinking about something that we had gone over in our last class. We were going over a concept and it basically meant religion and evolution couldn't be taught together. This I thought was totally stupid and a load of bull. There was a graphic shown on the PowerPoint that compared two sides of the argument. One side was the religious side, and the other was the scientific side. The religious side was showing this certain thing and if you had this foundation it would support this, this and this. On that side, it said the Bible supports blah blah blah and homosexual behavior was included. This infuriated me and then I thought about all of this I am now going to tell you.

I got to thinking about religion and it's greatest conflict right now between religion and homosexuality/marriage equality for LGBTs. I know this might get a little repetitive after a while talking about marriage equality and gay rights but it is something that is becoming more important to me as days go by.

A lot of people are saying that LGBT persons shouldn't be able to marry because it will increase taxes and expenses, that heterosexuals will be influenced or will be effected, it's against the church and the Bible. I don't think that marriage equality will bring these concerns to light, or at least not as much as people are thinking they will be.

It might increase expenses by giving homosexual couples more liberties and more rights that heterosexual couples have, like being able to put someone on their insurance or allowing them to be in the hospital room and receive their medical information and being allowed to make medical decisions if their partner is not able to make them. Sure, those expenses may rise but I don't think as much as people are making a big deal about. But what's with "marriage equality for LGBTs will raise taxes" bullshit? I thought everyone paid taxes? Even if they were gay or straight? Why should it matter if gay people are paying taxes or straight people are paying. For the most part, everyone is going to be paying roughly the same amount or at least gay people are not going to get exceptions to paying taxes just because they are dating the same sex. That is complete ignorance if you think that will happen because it won't.

Another argument for heterosexuals who are against marriage equality is that being homosexual or getting married to the same sex is against the church. I don't think it is fair to put that restriction, or in some cases, guilt, on people. Why would someone say that it is against the church for homosexuals to get married when some of those homosexuals might not even be religious or believe in a higher power. Some of the LGBTs might not even want to get married in the church so what does it matter if it is against the church or not?

There's another thing that bothers me with the church + LGBT marriage equality. When heterosexuals get married in the church they still have to get their marriage license, which is not even a part of the church, it is a legal government issue. So why are we leaving some decisions up to the religious figures in the country and taking their opinions into highest consideration?

I don't think any of this is logical or fair. I also don't think it's fair that people who don't even know me or other LGBT women and men are telling me who I can or cannot love or marry. Would you want me to tell you that you can't work a certain job or love and marry this person because I apparently hate you like you hate LGBTs? I don't think so. So why are you telling me I can't marry this person because I love them and want to be with them for the rest of my life?

There are more people that are standing up and speaking out that they are against gay rights and against marriage equality than there are people standing up and speaking out that they want LGBTs to be able to have more rights and get married. I urge you to stand up for what you believe in (and hopefully that is for marriage equality!) and get involved and support groups that help support you and your beliefs.

...The Limping Lizard.

Standing up for what's right

I am bisexual and I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. I have been with guys and have not found a deep connection with them as I have with her. I knew early on that I loved her and she felt the same. Around our 6 months, we got engaged. We've become fans of the HRC (Human Rights Campain) and subscribe to emails. We follow marriage equality news all the time. We live in New York and wonder if we ever will get to marry in NY. It went to Senate a couple months ago and we were denied the right to marry. This was hugely disappointing but I wasn't surprised. There are a lot of negative people who dont support LGBTs and those voices are being heard over ours. Again, disappointing. We have to wait another year until we can fight (even harder) to have our rights granted to us that we should have had already. We're thinking about going out of state (probably Mass.) for a small ceremony and then having a reception with family and friends who couldnt attend. But hopefully when 2012 comes around, we wont have to go out of state to celebrate our life and love together. ♥

I don't think that this type of discrimination is fair. Being part of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) population, I believe it is my right to be able to marry whomever I choose. In the Constitution it says that "all men are created equal." Some chauvinistic people in America (and other parts of the world) believe that this was meant for only MEN to have every right. More people than some people think, think that the Constitution was meant to represent both female and male. Even if the first group of people were right, all men are NOT created equal since Gay men aren't allowed to get married to their partner. You know what I just said is true, don't deny it. Other views are extremely religious views. Religious leaders are saying that it is against the Bible for homosexuals to get married in the church. So what? Who says marriage has to be all religious? There are a ton of people that get married by a Judge or Justice of the Peace, not a Priest or another type of religious figure. Just because extreme Christians aren't open minded or think that LGBTs weren't considered when Jesus and/or God created men and women, doesn't mean they can suppress our right to get married (by law, not church). What ever happened to "separation between church and state?" Even if you get married in the church, you still have to get a marriage license and get it legalized by the local/state government. It is a legal thing, not a religious thing. A lot of people who get married aren't religious at all. So what does this have to do with religion?!

Although there are many organizations out there fighting against marriage equality, there is one organization fighting for those rights for LGBTs. That organization is called the HRC, or the Human Rights Campaign. These people are determined to make marriage equal among all peoples, not just straight people. Although the numbers prove that there are more people involved with the "against" crew, I believe the HRC will come out on top because determination, strength, love, heart, and faith will persevere over negativity. Maybe someday I will be a representative for the HRC and work for fighting for peoples' rights that aren't granted yet.

"If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
but the heart keeps telling you don't give up
who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what?
Don't give up, through it all, just stand up"

Visit this link and view the video if you want to see what those "haters" are saying about LGBT rights and how the HRC is fighting that. If you want to donate some money to help the HRC and LGBTs, that is up to you. If you do, Thank you. If you don't, it's okay. But just keep your mind open, and view the video:

https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Donation2?df_id=3780&3780.donation=form1&autologin=true&JServSessionIdr004=xu7t7oanl1.app305a

Please support!

...The Limping Lizard.

It's Been a While

Hey guys! For those of you who keep checking back regularly or semi-regularly, I'm sorry I haven't had a new post in a while. I'm slowly but surely working on it. So stay tuned for another post coming soon!

...The Limping Lizard.

Moving on...

Since I was born I have lived in Herkimer, New York. The summer after 7th grade, my mom sold our house and bought one in Deerfield. We ended up moving a couple weeks later.

Moving out of town meant a couple things. It meant that I would leave my best friend behind. I have known her since I was born but don't really remember anything before I was like 4 years old. We got really close throughout our childhood. It was probably one of the toughest things to drive away from my best friend waving back to me.

I don't remember much of that day when I left the Herkimer house, but some things are in my memory clear as day. I remember packing the car with the last of our stuff, then getting in the front seat of the car. My mom piled a laundry basket on my lap, while another laundry basket was below my feet. Then my mom handed me the fish bowl, with fish included, for me to hold for the ride.

I remember crying so hard I could barely talk. I was sobbing that I didn't want to leave, that I didn't want to go. Through my tears and sobs, I told my best friend and her family goodbye and that I'd miss them. My mom started the car and we pulled away from the curb. We were moving away and moving on.

I pretty much cried all the way to my new home. We immediately got to unpacking and I moved into my new room. It was bare. The walls were painted a light pink from the previous owner. If any of you know me, you know that I wouldn't be able to stand staring at pink walls all day. A couple of my mom's co-workers stopped by to see if we needed any help. The art teacher and I decided to go to Lowe's and get new paint. We brought a pillow with a Robins Egg Blue type of color on it and they made the paint the same color. That same day, the day that we moved, we painted my room that blue color. It was a good experience, a fun experience, that I still remember to this day.

We have now been living in this house since then, and I'm glad for it. It's a much nicer neighborhood and we're closer to family here. My aunt and uncle are right around the corner, my grandma is 2 minutes away, and another set of aunts and uncles are 5 minutes away. I believe we are better here and my mom made the right decision to move here, even though I thought my life was ending at first.

... The Limping Lizard.

Demons, Drugs & Divorce

When I was about 7 years old, my mother and father sat me down on my bed in my room. I can't remember the exact words but they told me they were going to be separated and get a divorce and that "Daddy" wasn't going to live with us anymore. I remember that my mom and dad kept telling me it wasn't my fault and that everything will be okay.

I'm 19 now and I haven't seen my dad since I was 8. I can't remember when I found out why my parents divorced but I can tell you why. My dad was an addict. He had a problem with alcohol and drugs. Once I found this out, I made a pledge to myself to never be like my father. I never want to do drugs like he did and I never want to lose control of drinking alcohol. To this day, I still have not had more than one beer. People with alcoholism in their family have a higher chance of becoming an alcoholic themselves. I do not want to become another statistic of following that trend.

I guess my father had some demons that he couldn't bury enough to get through without "help" from drugs or alcohol. Make no mistake, his decision to use tore up our family. It tore some holes within me and my mother, but it also tore some holes within his own family, my uncles and my grandparents. He hurt so many people, including himself. Sometimes I wonder if he knows the extent of what he did to everyone around him. ...?

About a year ago, I made the decision to send my dad a letter with my email address included in it. This was a huge step, I'd like to think, in the right direction. One day I got an email from my dad. I was so scared to open that email I started to cry. As the year went on, I received emails from him. Sometimes it would take him a couple days or a week to reply. However, there were some points that it would take him longer to reply to my emails. I would always reply to him right away; I wish he would do the same.

All throughout my life after the divorce, My dad would sporadically send me a card on my birthday or the nearest holiday. Sometimes I believe he would forget my birthday but some years he would remember. I don't know why this was but sometimes it would upset me, other times I was just like "it's whatever, I'm used to it."

My mom divorced my dad because it was the right thing to do for us at the time, to get him out of our lives because we were in danger or threatened. She always doubts her decision to leave him, but as I have grown up I support her decision and I thank her for it.

As my father had, or maybe still has, his demons, I have my own. This divorce is always in the back of my mind. And every time I face any relationship with drugs or alcohol, his picture comes in the back of mind and I remember that I don't need to fit in or use those things to escape my problems.

I will always face these demons but I believe that I am a strong enough person to overcome them and move on. I don't need drugs or alcohol in my life. Too bad my father didn't realize that for himself.

...The Limping Lizard.

Goals for 2010

2010 has started off right, with a kiss at midnight from my wonderful girlfriend. I know that 2010 will bring many possibilities and I will try to take every one of those realistic possibilities. As people set their "New Years Resolutions" I am setting a couple goals to achieve throughout the year instead of just one resolution. Someone's goals or resolutions might not be realistic to their life, but I am trying my hardest to set goals for myself that I can actually accomplish. Thing brings me to a fork in the road.

One way passed the fork is the path of total concentration and determination. This is the path that at the end of it, I would reach all my goals and am able to cross them off my list. This is obviously ideal, and I hope reasonable.

The other fork is the path of the rocky road. And no, it's not a path where you can eat Rocky Road ice cream, but it's the path where I struggle through achieving those goals I have set for myself. This would be a disappointing path, and also might be a little longer than the first path.

My goals for the year of 2010:

1. I want to get a dog. My ideal dog would be a Norwich terrier who's loving, happy, and energetic. I want a dog that I can have a special bond with and the dog would make me smile every time I walked through the door when I got home. I want to save up enough money to afford buying a dog, either from a shelter or from somewhere else. 
2. I want to pay off my mom's notebook. She keeps track of the money I owe her from my car insurance, cell phone bill, etc. I want to pay her off enough that there is only close to $100 left on it after I give my mom the last group of money. This may take all year, but I think with enough managing, I can do it.
3. To get nothing lower than a B- in all of my classes in the Spring 2010 semester. In the past, I have disappointed myself, and I'm sure others, and I don't want to be disappointing myself with my grades again. I lost some of my scholarship towards college due to some poor grades and I'm determined to get that money back. 
   
4. And lastly, I want to give my girlfriend a romantic date for our one year anniversary. I can't disclose what I would do for her specifically but you can count on it being great. This has been my longest relationship and it's been hers too. One year together marks an amazing accomplishment in itself. It is a special day that deserves to be celebrated. 

So far those are the goals I have set for myself to achieve throughout the year ahead. Some will take longer than others, and some will take more hard work and determination than others. But I truly believe that if I put my heart and soul into 2010, I can get the results I just talked about. Check back with me throughout the year to see if I actually can do this...

...The Limping Lizard.

Coming Out to Be Myself

One of the most real struggles I've experienced is the struggle with my sexuality.

It seemed to be that since I was a young teenager I have always thought that girls were pretty and I couldn't help but to sometimes look and be interested. When I was around 10 or 11 years old, I experimented with one of my best friends, a girl*, who was my neighbor. Of course, being young, I didn't think anything of it and thought it was just a game.

When I got a little older and was in high school I had a friend* that was gay. This friend and I became really close and were best friends. One day when we were hanging out, we suddenly kissed. This was unexpected for the both of us but somehow it was unstoppable. I was so scared and somewhat reluctant to continue a further relationship than being just friends. Inevitably, the relationship stayed just friends. This got me to thinking something was different about me; I started figuring it wasn't just a game this time. I became more interested in girls.

I was scared and confused for a couple months and was afraid of what people thought if I liked girls, along with liking boys. I struggled with my sexual orientation, but I came to a realization that I couldn't hide who I was and had to be myself. To my closest friends and family, this no longer became a secret of mine that I was keeping. Much to my surprise, a lot of people, including my mom, were accepting of me and who I was. This was a load of my chest and it made me think that since these people in my life were accepting, that other people would accept me too. A lot of people were accepting but I feel I grew apart from some of my friends because they didn't like that I liked girls. This was disappointing and somewhat hurtful but I learned that everyone might not have the same opinions.

Although some people aren't accepting of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered people, some people are really open minded and can stand by you for support. I have some lucky people in my life that do just that. I am grateful for those people. I am also grateful for those people who are against LGBT people, because without you there wouldn't be a fight or a struggle. Without ,the fight to gain rights for LGBTs wouldn't be so rewarding. Some day it will happen where LGBTs will be considered equal and have just as many rights as heterosexual people.

That is my coming out story and I encourage everyone to come out of the closet and be yourself. If you are struggling with your sexuality, don't be afraid of who you really are and follow your heart. If you are in the closet as a quiet person who only sings in the shower, break out of that mold and join your school chorus or sing on a street corner. Come out and be yourself...

...The Limping Lizard.

Getting to Know the Limping Lizard

I want to be known as The Limping Lizard as I write my blogs. I know it might not be the most attractive name, but I thought the name showed the struggles that I have had throughout my life.

My parents divorced when I was young and I haven't seen my father since pretty much around that time. At this point, being very young, I thought nothing could get worse.

As a kid, I felt like I needed to rebel and disrespect my mom all the time. I ended up being grounded a lot.

Throughout school, I struggled with myself and the need to fit in came into my mind a lot. Sports allowed me to become more disciplined and helped me fit in a little. Even with sports to rely on, I still felt the need to be the popular kid who everyone liked. I thought I did pretty well with that, but I can't really tell anymore. I guess it was for the people in high school to judge. But high school is over now.

I have lost people close to me, whether through death or through growing apart. I miss those people who have left the living Earth and have moved on to a more peaceful place. I also miss those people who aren't in my life anymore because we have grown apart. Some people I have just lost touch with, others I haven't talked to in months because of fights and stopped talking. This has been hard, some recent wounds and some old ones. Some will never heal but a couple have some time to grow a new, harder skin.

Those are just some of the struggles I've had since I was a kid. I'm sure more will be talked about, and more in detail. There was just a little taste of what my life has been like as...

...The Limping Lizard.