It's Time to Play 'til the Whistle Blows

One of my favorite scenes from a movie is the scene in We Are Marshall where it's "game day" and the little kid runs outside with Jack following, and they see everybody walking down to the football field. Jack asks what day it is, the kid answers "game day." This is repeated once and then Jack says "it's time to play 'til the whistle blows" and then the little kid whistles. For one, this is one of the cutest things I have ever seen and two, this scene has been in my mind a lot as spring sports are starting up at UC and winter sports are going into playoffs. Seeing all the teams and players get ready for their games and for it to be "game day" for them again, I get a little jealous.

I played basketball and softball for 7-12 grades and for those 6 years of high school, from November until May, I frequently had those so called "game days." I thoroughly miss the games days from high school and the bonds the teams had during the season. My senior year I really wanted to look into playing in college and went as far as getting an old game tape from basketball and had been emailing back and forth. I guess i chickened out and never sent my tape to the basketball coach. There is always that "what if..." moment with that. I also thought about being a walk on player but then I never found out when try-outs were for either basketball or softball. Cristina, my girlfriend, is always telling me that I should try out next year but I think I've been out of the game for so long I don't think I could play after taking a two year break.

This "game day" thing reminds me of last summer when I played in a summer slow-pitch softball league up in Rome with my cousin Julie. I met a lot of cool people through playing this and I also learned that the basketball coach from UC plays in the same league, which I thought was funny. As it gets closer to May and June, I can't help but to think of last summer and what the future brings for this upcoming summer. I know I'm going to be back playing slow-pitch again this year and I can't wait for it to be my time to say that it's game day. Not only do I love getting dressed in the slight uniform that we do have, but I also love hanging out with Julie every week and having fun playing softball.

I wish I could find a basketball league me and Julie could play in but I'm not having luck.

All I want is to have summer come so I can just wear a wife beater and shorts and be warm. All I want is to have my game days back and play softball. Needless to say, I'm excited for this upcoming summer. =]

...The Limping Lizard.

Heavy Hearts

This morning I received a text message from one of my friends. It said that a sister of one of our good friends had passed away last night in a snowmobiling accident. She had fell into the water while snowmobiling on Third Lake. I called my friend who texted me and asked if she was serious. I realize now that asking that question was stupid but it's an immediate reaction when you hear news like that. It's shocking to hear that someone you've known since you were little isn't with us anymore. Granted, I was never close to her but I am close with her sister. I thought about her, Ashley, my friend. I thought about how much she is hurting and how much her family is hurting. I just wanted to go to her house and hug her and let her cry on my shoulder, like she's let me do for less extreme and less taxing reasons. But I knew, that in this time, so close to the fatal incident, that they would want to be with their family. I know my time will come to help support and grieve with Ashley when she needs me.

This time has made me realize how important family is. You never know when your time is up, this incident proves it. Nikki's last status update on Facebook was that she was so glad it was Friday and that she was ready for the weekend. This makes me think that one day the weekend is ready for us. You will never know what you encounter or who you will encounter in a mere matter of minutes or hours. We are unfortunate to have experienced this loss in minutes. Nikki was an amazing artist and athlete and was a beautiful girl. Although, there were some moments that people weren't too fond of Nikki, she was still someone's family member or friend. She was still cared about by many and known for her track records at Oriskany High School. Coming from a small town like Oriskany, news of her death traveled quickly and has touched so many people. There are many heavy hearts and grieving people in the world today.

Having this happen makes me think how much my family and friends mean to me. I don't know what I would do without my family members, they have been such a support system through everything imaginable in my life. And if I were to lose one of my friends, I'd be a wreck. I would think about all the times we disagreed or had fun, laughed and cried. I just wanted to say that I love all my family and friends. If we've had a rough spot in our friendship or familyship, I hope that some day we can move passed it, if we haven't already. Mom, I love you. Gramma and Grampa, I love you. Grandma, I love you. To all my aunts, uncles and cousins, I love you. To all my friends, whether in the past or in the present, I love you. To my girlfriend Cristina, I know you know this already but I cannot say it enough to show how much I really care for you, I love you.

...The Limping Lizard.

Why?

So I was sitting in my Evolution class today and I got to thinking about something that we had gone over in our last class. We were going over a concept and it basically meant religion and evolution couldn't be taught together. This I thought was totally stupid and a load of bull. There was a graphic shown on the PowerPoint that compared two sides of the argument. One side was the religious side, and the other was the scientific side. The religious side was showing this certain thing and if you had this foundation it would support this, this and this. On that side, it said the Bible supports blah blah blah and homosexual behavior was included. This infuriated me and then I thought about all of this I am now going to tell you.

I got to thinking about religion and it's greatest conflict right now between religion and homosexuality/marriage equality for LGBTs. I know this might get a little repetitive after a while talking about marriage equality and gay rights but it is something that is becoming more important to me as days go by.

A lot of people are saying that LGBT persons shouldn't be able to marry because it will increase taxes and expenses, that heterosexuals will be influenced or will be effected, it's against the church and the Bible. I don't think that marriage equality will bring these concerns to light, or at least not as much as people are thinking they will be.

It might increase expenses by giving homosexual couples more liberties and more rights that heterosexual couples have, like being able to put someone on their insurance or allowing them to be in the hospital room and receive their medical information and being allowed to make medical decisions if their partner is not able to make them. Sure, those expenses may rise but I don't think as much as people are making a big deal about. But what's with "marriage equality for LGBTs will raise taxes" bullshit? I thought everyone paid taxes? Even if they were gay or straight? Why should it matter if gay people are paying taxes or straight people are paying. For the most part, everyone is going to be paying roughly the same amount or at least gay people are not going to get exceptions to paying taxes just because they are dating the same sex. That is complete ignorance if you think that will happen because it won't.

Another argument for heterosexuals who are against marriage equality is that being homosexual or getting married to the same sex is against the church. I don't think it is fair to put that restriction, or in some cases, guilt, on people. Why would someone say that it is against the church for homosexuals to get married when some of those homosexuals might not even be religious or believe in a higher power. Some of the LGBTs might not even want to get married in the church so what does it matter if it is against the church or not?

There's another thing that bothers me with the church + LGBT marriage equality. When heterosexuals get married in the church they still have to get their marriage license, which is not even a part of the church, it is a legal government issue. So why are we leaving some decisions up to the religious figures in the country and taking their opinions into highest consideration?

I don't think any of this is logical or fair. I also don't think it's fair that people who don't even know me or other LGBT women and men are telling me who I can or cannot love or marry. Would you want me to tell you that you can't work a certain job or love and marry this person because I apparently hate you like you hate LGBTs? I don't think so. So why are you telling me I can't marry this person because I love them and want to be with them for the rest of my life?

There are more people that are standing up and speaking out that they are against gay rights and against marriage equality than there are people standing up and speaking out that they want LGBTs to be able to have more rights and get married. I urge you to stand up for what you believe in (and hopefully that is for marriage equality!) and get involved and support groups that help support you and your beliefs.

...The Limping Lizard.

Standing up for what's right

I am bisexual and I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. I have been with guys and have not found a deep connection with them as I have with her. I knew early on that I loved her and she felt the same. Around our 6 months, we got engaged. We've become fans of the HRC (Human Rights Campain) and subscribe to emails. We follow marriage equality news all the time. We live in New York and wonder if we ever will get to marry in NY. It went to Senate a couple months ago and we were denied the right to marry. This was hugely disappointing but I wasn't surprised. There are a lot of negative people who dont support LGBTs and those voices are being heard over ours. Again, disappointing. We have to wait another year until we can fight (even harder) to have our rights granted to us that we should have had already. We're thinking about going out of state (probably Mass.) for a small ceremony and then having a reception with family and friends who couldnt attend. But hopefully when 2012 comes around, we wont have to go out of state to celebrate our life and love together. ♥

I don't think that this type of discrimination is fair. Being part of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) population, I believe it is my right to be able to marry whomever I choose. In the Constitution it says that "all men are created equal." Some chauvinistic people in America (and other parts of the world) believe that this was meant for only MEN to have every right. More people than some people think, think that the Constitution was meant to represent both female and male. Even if the first group of people were right, all men are NOT created equal since Gay men aren't allowed to get married to their partner. You know what I just said is true, don't deny it. Other views are extremely religious views. Religious leaders are saying that it is against the Bible for homosexuals to get married in the church. So what? Who says marriage has to be all religious? There are a ton of people that get married by a Judge or Justice of the Peace, not a Priest or another type of religious figure. Just because extreme Christians aren't open minded or think that LGBTs weren't considered when Jesus and/or God created men and women, doesn't mean they can suppress our right to get married (by law, not church). What ever happened to "separation between church and state?" Even if you get married in the church, you still have to get a marriage license and get it legalized by the local/state government. It is a legal thing, not a religious thing. A lot of people who get married aren't religious at all. So what does this have to do with religion?!

Although there are many organizations out there fighting against marriage equality, there is one organization fighting for those rights for LGBTs. That organization is called the HRC, or the Human Rights Campaign. These people are determined to make marriage equal among all peoples, not just straight people. Although the numbers prove that there are more people involved with the "against" crew, I believe the HRC will come out on top because determination, strength, love, heart, and faith will persevere over negativity. Maybe someday I will be a representative for the HRC and work for fighting for peoples' rights that aren't granted yet.

"If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
but the heart keeps telling you don't give up
who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what?
Don't give up, through it all, just stand up"

Visit this link and view the video if you want to see what those "haters" are saying about LGBT rights and how the HRC is fighting that. If you want to donate some money to help the HRC and LGBTs, that is up to you. If you do, Thank you. If you don't, it's okay. But just keep your mind open, and view the video:

https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Donation2?df_id=3780&3780.donation=form1&autologin=true&JServSessionIdr004=xu7t7oanl1.app305a

Please support!

...The Limping Lizard.

It's Been a While

Hey guys! For those of you who keep checking back regularly or semi-regularly, I'm sorry I haven't had a new post in a while. I'm slowly but surely working on it. So stay tuned for another post coming soon!

...The Limping Lizard.

Moving on...

Since I was born I have lived in Herkimer, New York. The summer after 7th grade, my mom sold our house and bought one in Deerfield. We ended up moving a couple weeks later.

Moving out of town meant a couple things. It meant that I would leave my best friend behind. I have known her since I was born but don't really remember anything before I was like 4 years old. We got really close throughout our childhood. It was probably one of the toughest things to drive away from my best friend waving back to me.

I don't remember much of that day when I left the Herkimer house, but some things are in my memory clear as day. I remember packing the car with the last of our stuff, then getting in the front seat of the car. My mom piled a laundry basket on my lap, while another laundry basket was below my feet. Then my mom handed me the fish bowl, with fish included, for me to hold for the ride.

I remember crying so hard I could barely talk. I was sobbing that I didn't want to leave, that I didn't want to go. Through my tears and sobs, I told my best friend and her family goodbye and that I'd miss them. My mom started the car and we pulled away from the curb. We were moving away and moving on.

I pretty much cried all the way to my new home. We immediately got to unpacking and I moved into my new room. It was bare. The walls were painted a light pink from the previous owner. If any of you know me, you know that I wouldn't be able to stand staring at pink walls all day. A couple of my mom's co-workers stopped by to see if we needed any help. The art teacher and I decided to go to Lowe's and get new paint. We brought a pillow with a Robins Egg Blue type of color on it and they made the paint the same color. That same day, the day that we moved, we painted my room that blue color. It was a good experience, a fun experience, that I still remember to this day.

We have now been living in this house since then, and I'm glad for it. It's a much nicer neighborhood and we're closer to family here. My aunt and uncle are right around the corner, my grandma is 2 minutes away, and another set of aunts and uncles are 5 minutes away. I believe we are better here and my mom made the right decision to move here, even though I thought my life was ending at first.

... The Limping Lizard.

Demons, Drugs & Divorce

When I was about 7 years old, my mother and father sat me down on my bed in my room. I can't remember the exact words but they told me they were going to be separated and get a divorce and that "Daddy" wasn't going to live with us anymore. I remember that my mom and dad kept telling me it wasn't my fault and that everything will be okay.

I'm 19 now and I haven't seen my dad since I was 8. I can't remember when I found out why my parents divorced but I can tell you why. My dad was an addict. He had a problem with alcohol and drugs. Once I found this out, I made a pledge to myself to never be like my father. I never want to do drugs like he did and I never want to lose control of drinking alcohol. To this day, I still have not had more than one beer. People with alcoholism in their family have a higher chance of becoming an alcoholic themselves. I do not want to become another statistic of following that trend.

I guess my father had some demons that he couldn't bury enough to get through without "help" from drugs or alcohol. Make no mistake, his decision to use tore up our family. It tore some holes within me and my mother, but it also tore some holes within his own family, my uncles and my grandparents. He hurt so many people, including himself. Sometimes I wonder if he knows the extent of what he did to everyone around him. ...?

About a year ago, I made the decision to send my dad a letter with my email address included in it. This was a huge step, I'd like to think, in the right direction. One day I got an email from my dad. I was so scared to open that email I started to cry. As the year went on, I received emails from him. Sometimes it would take him a couple days or a week to reply. However, there were some points that it would take him longer to reply to my emails. I would always reply to him right away; I wish he would do the same.

All throughout my life after the divorce, My dad would sporadically send me a card on my birthday or the nearest holiday. Sometimes I believe he would forget my birthday but some years he would remember. I don't know why this was but sometimes it would upset me, other times I was just like "it's whatever, I'm used to it."

My mom divorced my dad because it was the right thing to do for us at the time, to get him out of our lives because we were in danger or threatened. She always doubts her decision to leave him, but as I have grown up I support her decision and I thank her for it.

As my father had, or maybe still has, his demons, I have my own. This divorce is always in the back of my mind. And every time I face any relationship with drugs or alcohol, his picture comes in the back of mind and I remember that I don't need to fit in or use those things to escape my problems.

I will always face these demons but I believe that I am a strong enough person to overcome them and move on. I don't need drugs or alcohol in my life. Too bad my father didn't realize that for himself.

...The Limping Lizard.